True Aim

Then I notched the arrow and steadily pulled the bowstring to my ear, a full draw. A steady wind came from the west. But it is nothing to consider, lacking the force to affect the flight. Tension loosed. My eyes dart to follow the field point and synthetic feathers. In a moment isolated from time it pierces space  with the pretense of precision. Once again, high and right off into the underbrush. I curse the thought of searching for another stray. I curse my inadequacy. I curse another chance missed, another occasion squandered.

In the Brhadaranyaka Upanisad you can find this string of words,

When they are all banished, 
those desires lurking in ones heart;
Then a mortal becomes immortal 
and attains brahman in this world. 


For a long time I have wrestled with this Indic concept that announces desire as the chief bane to humanity's atonement with the world. Perhaps it is because my mind is locked down with the material and imperialistic desires of all my western forbears? Maybe. I have thought that there is a nuance behind this concept rarely articulated. Desire generally may not be the problem. The problem is when we are unaware of the nature of our own desires. This is the problem of the bow and the arrow.

I scan my target, choose a single point that is my bearing. Newly accustomed sinews draw back the bowstring and I remain convinced I am aiming for the point I have chosen. I let the arrow fly and I miss  egregiously and often, but not for lack of skill. I have had far better days. Something in my mind is amiss. I tell myself I aiming at the chosen point. My mind is focused. However, the action of my body is distracted. Upon release of the arrow my head moves up and to the right, eager to evaluate that which has not yet come to pass. Because of this preoccupation with the future, a future undoubtedly shaped by the present, I missed my mark again and again. My worlds of thought and action are incongruous. That which I claim to desire I do not truly pursue.

How often is this the case? We claim we want happiness. We clamor for peace. Yet we stray from the path presented by the most elegant stirrings in our souls and in doing so we incur strife in our own personal spheres.

The desires that hinder the burgeoning of our highest iterations are those which we are either too ashamed to admit exist (even to ourselves) or to which we are completely unaware. Our ignorance does not protect us. These "lurking desires" push our aim away from those ideals for which we strive when we are basking in the light.  They are desires that foster the actions for which we wish to be remembered.

Revolution

The burden of any revolution (art, political, social) is not in tearing down what currently stands,
But in having the strength to construct in its place something that's truly better.

A Worthy Fear

Heroism is no guarantee.
I could battle the storms just to see you -
and I have -
But you didn't know,
And I couldn't tell you.

A Conversation Between M&F (2012)

She said, "Don't mistake my attention for affection."

He said, "Don't mistake my honesty for weakness."